Friday, 17 August 2012

There is no single "right" way to do it.

Parenting that is, rather than any other type of "it" you might be thinking of.  I'm new to the world of blogging, I've only been blogging for a month or two - I don't even have any followers yet - but already I have to say that I have been rather taken aback by the judgemental attitude of some bloggers (non of which has yet been directed at me I might add, I wait with baited breath for that joy).  These are other parents who really should know better than to judge others when you have no idea what goes on in their lives.
Despite being siblings....

It doesn't seem to be a particular "type" of parent who is critical, I've heard attachment parents who claim that they are soft and gentle types ripping into people who dare to do it another way.  I've heard the other end of the spectrum poo pooh attachment parenting and its values too, with all the in-between.  I've spent a goodly part of my week attempting to remove one particular blogger (with her moaning and rants) from my reading list to no avail (if anyone can tell me how to remove her, I'd love to know, I've tried all the obvious ways!).
...they are all so very different...

There is no "right" way to parent.  What works for one family, may well not work for another.  What works for one child may well not work for another, hell, sometimes it doesn't even always work on the same child in a different situation!  I find it frustrating when people offer well meaning, but rigid, advice.  "Oh well, I just do this!", as if were a cure all panacea.  Yes, it may work for you and for your child in the situation that you are in - it may well not work for another.  The more children that I have, the more I have realised how flexible you have to be to your individual child, particularly when you are parenting a child on the Autistic spectrum.  There are many different ways to bring up a happy, confident, well mannered, well rounded child - no particular method has exclusive rights to it, if it did, we'd all do it that way.

...and require different methods...
My children are, in general, pretty happy, bright and well behaved - I have not "damaged" them by leaving them to cry on occasion, nor have I "spoilt" them by feeding them to sleep and carrying them round in a sling.  I may not do the same methods as you, that does not mean that either of our methods are "wrong", they are just different.  Different methods suit different families and different children in different situations.  So leave your judgey pants at home and put away your judgey stick. bring out the best in them!
I'd just like to add (to the end of my anti-judgement rant) that there are some absolutely fabulous blogs out there that offer great advice without judgement and others that have amazing ideas which I can't wait to try out - I'd hate to tar everyone with the same brush!


  1. Well said Rosie!
    Welcome to the world of blogging. You must read
    ( and connect) with my friend lottie, she brought up 5 beautiful children in some idilic but unconventional places.
    We had different ideas as mums, but discussed and shared, and my boys and lotties children have grown into lovely adults we are both proud of.
    And we are still best friends on opposite sides of the world!

    When you get 5 mins with a cuppa, take a look at

    1. Oh I definitely will take a look at the blog - I am always up for increasing and improving my reading list! Thanks!

      Rosie, x

  2. Here here and how very true..... just wanted to say I looooove your pics of the kids, they're gorgeous xx

    1. Thanks! I think they are rather beautiful, but I'm their mother and so somewhat biased :)

  3. Hi Rosie and thanks for commenting on my blog regarding this. I completely agree with you and I know the blogger that you mean. Her views and superiority complex are well known to the blogging community, indeed at Cybher (a blogging event in May) there were quite a few mentions made about her views. Thing is though, attention and publicity is what she seems to crave which is why I have removed her negative comments from my blog as this was driving up her page views which I thought was wrong. Thanks again for your support and I hope you get some sleep soon!xx

    1. Wow, that's interesting - all I've ever read on her blog seems to be how wonderful everyone else thinks she is, so it's good to hear the other side. That said, a reply I made to her never made it to her comments list - hmmm, wonder why... Unfortunately I can't seem to remove her from my reading list which is irritating.

      The sleep is definitely improving! Hopefully another week or so and I can finally have my sanity back.